time: a small essay from days gone by

November 14, 2017

looking back is a speciality of mine. i do it a lot, more often than i potentially should but alas, i do it anyway. all the time. it's a clear and set way for my brain to compute that i am in fact growing up, and it's worked out well so far. i'm twenty, and i haven't tripped and fallen into a pit of spiders yet. and i guess that's great. it is great. 

i actually wrote a thing around christmas time for the national student about how one of my goals for 2017 was to stop looking back in time, using one of dodie clark's song lyrics as a analogy if i remember rightly. i mean that's cool, but looking back is so ingrained into me, i'm afraid i won't be able to stop. and now, i don't think i want to.

i categorise my life in lots of different ways. one being girls aloud albums, another being summers and overarching themes. or what happened in coronation street. or what stage of awful the x factor was at (come on, the cheryl/danni era was 100% the best one). and i love that. these things helped me grow up, they still help me grow even if love machine is now considered something only flares will play and the coronation street i used to watch isn't even on the same street anymore. 

like, time is weird. i get that. but it's beautiful and therapeutic and makes you tingle and smile and reminisce in a way that's not sad - but it can make you cry too. cry sad tears, happy tears. it's weird.

not being frank and honest about time is worse than obsessing over it and categorising, i think. 

'the only use of a broken clock is telling the correct time twice a day' - something i think lumiere from beauty and beast said a while ago as i sat in a cinema screen and went WOAH at it's beauty. 

i'm gl(s)ad that i've moved on from many things. bur i'm glad it happened. the clock has ticked, i've ticked that box, and i've grown up. 

growing up. 

in time.

it's a good thing.  

even peter pan had to grow up someday.

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my disney photo diary 2017

September 21, 2017

happy moments

April 04, 2017

Officially, this should be happy moments #4, as I started a mini series back in January 2015 and didn't continue it past three.. but it isn't. It's just a happy moment. Just some things that make me smile and cheer and make me curl my lips up in a non depreciating way. Here are my happy moments of the week: 

tunes such as these: lany - good girls \\ oh wonder - ultralife \\ mura masa - one night \\ lorde - green light \\ charli xcx - lipgloss \\ olivia o'brien - hate u love u \\ yves - when the day comes \\ chord overstreet - hold on \\ ~you can find these on my spotify here~

zara: I've spent a lot of money in there these past couple of weeks, and received lots of lovely things in return (one being a pair of trousers that actually fit!?) 

nice visa man: I now hold a US visa!? So thank you nice US citizen for allowing me into your country \ thank you london for only raining once :) :) 

mickey mouse: Seeing the new and improved Disneyland Paris has made me smile more than it perhaps should but the glo-up of Fantasia Gardens with GLASS STATUES needs to be admired by someone other than the DLP update accounts

o2 priority: I got a free large mocha today and I'm not entirely sure why, but thank you somewhat expensive phone contract for that freebie

the national student: I've written quite a few things on there this week, and I'm proud of myself for it. It's challenging to write in a way I'm not 100% sure I'm used to yet, but I'm going to keep trying and minimise the urge to write as if I'm word vomiting out of my head. Like now

la la land: Just everything. La La Land is a masterpiece that needs to be admired and popped in a museum somewhere, or in your local HMV store. And a museum, a very artsy (hopefully free) museum with popcorn and a large screen and probably a tango ice blast machine. Basically a cinema. But on screens forever 

friends: You've been cool. Have a good day y'all ~this is 100% going to be my accent every day this summer, sorry not sorry

yes i'm doing this in the same design as 2015 me did #throwbacks
see you soon \ lots of love

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March 13, 2017

this is me taking a nero selfie, how embarassing

This post was going to be cute and long and about me and my life these past few weeks, a filtered version of my journal perhaps. An online edit for the 50000000 of you who read this pretty regularly, who stayed even though I disappeared and lived and discovered that I'm happiest when listening to atmospheric music and eating crisps. Like now. 

Like I still have faults. I still say cute way too often. I've counted three times I deleted the adjective in the previous four line paragraph. That's not good. Using good as an adjective isn't great either. Gah I have a lot to learn. 

But this is what I've discovered on the net these past couple weeks. Think of it a text version of my car stereo and inner thoughts while listening to said car stereo, and come back to see other things better than this. About me. About happy me. Because God knows that I've become a 98647% better person this past year. 


songs cute enough to relax to
  • oh wonder - drive
  • dodie / jon cozart - city of stars
  • lorde - green light
  • oh wonder - crazy in love
  • keira knightley - a step you can't take back
  • perrie edwards - listen
  • sarah close - call me out
songs musical theatre me loves
  • spirit young performers company - hamilton jam / medley
  • miscast - schuyler sisters
  • heathers the musical - candy store live
  • neil patrick harris - tony awards 2013 opening
  • james corden - tony awards 2016 opening 
other youtube series i'm adoring
  • bright sun films - abandoned series - the disney features on this are AMAZING (especially the legendary years resort / old potential resort videos)
  • amy baxter - disney cep videos - i'm going to disney with amy and her vids on the cep application process are so clear and easy to understand
  • sam carr - location and travel videos - i followed sam on twitter like 7 years ago and his move into youtube makes my movie maker vids look ridiculously amuteur 
a couple of blog posts you should read
  • a pizza my life - it hasn't been updated in just under a year, but gOD does it make you smile
  • tolly dolly posh fashion - i used to love tolly when i was younger, and now she's branched out into ethical fashion, i've found her blog a must read once more. there's lOTS to make you think (especially the ethical directory - who knew there were so many options!?)
  • beauty by the bunny - why i won't be duped - have make up revolution gone too far? is such an interesting read 
there u go come back another day for more interesting things
liv x

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disney's cultural exchange program bucket list

March 02, 2017

~with my visa application from yummy jobs~
For those of you who don't know (like four of you for the amount of time I've spent blabbering on about it), I am moving to Disney World for three months this summer to partake in Disney's Cultural Exchange Program and I am SO excited. Like talk-all-the-time-and-never-shut-up excited. Ridiculously excited. I cried when I found out. SO EXCITED.

It's also going to be my first time in Disney World, so I've got 500000000 things I'd love to do - and with three months to complete it all, I've got plenty of time to peruse the Magic Kingdom to my hearts content. There may be no more Wishes by the time I get to the States, but damn my wishes have come true already so ~who cares~ 

(me. a lot. i wanted to see wishes. gah youtube is the only option now)

So anyway.. here's my bucket list for the BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE (hopefully)
  • visit every park and get a picture of both myself and my staff name tag in each location
  • get more than one name tag for my uniform, so i can be from both york and scarborough
  • ride every single ride
  • see every show (even ellen's energy adventure lol)
  • try the kitchen sink at beaches and cream
  • eat at ohana (can i say this when i've already got a booking? yes i can)
  • try and visit the gym in chatham/wherever i end up living at least once
  • be the last guest in the park
  • arrive for opening at magic kingdom (and everywhere else if you can)
  • visit every resort and see all the fab theming
  • go to the waterparks at least once
  • try american food!! you're in america for gods sake
  • go to as many stereotypical american places as possible eg. walmart
  • send a postcard home!
  • take every opportunity to meet characters 
  • fill an autograph book
  • take a day (or more) to just relax and sunbathe and swim and realise you're living the dream
  • go to universal (annual pass yes?)
  • go to a housing event
  • play grocery bingo 
  • earn $$$$$ and spend $$$$$$
  • get a celebrating badge because I'M CELEBRATING being in disney of course 
  • i'll be working around pin trading so please start it yourself liv
  • get pins for your location / favorite ride / memory
  • try and buy one piece of merch specific to each park
and most importantly...
  • ~make friends and have lots of fun~
from a gal with lots of faith, trust and pixie dust,
olivia xxx

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this is my blog

March 01, 2017

pleased to meet you

i am olivia

i like dodie clark

February 20, 2017

In recent months, I've found a YouTuber I like. It's crazy. I usually hate YouTube stars because of who they are and what they do and how they act sweet when they're not. Sigh. (@ zoella and friends) I like Dodie so much that I actually planned this post, because I didn't think I could decide what my favourite things were off the top of my head. In my notes I wrote 'it's all a bit sad, yet sweetly satisfying' and I think that's true. Not 100% true, but definitely not fake news. Her words make me feel melancholy, and sometimes her thoughts and feelings echo my thoughts and feelings, which I like. 


I haven't felt like I want to write a blog post so much since... well probably The Saturdays were cool. It's nice to see somebody write and then subsequently perform their own songs, as it seems like the own mainstream artist to do this repetitively is Sia, and well.. Sia isn't really like ukulele playing Dodie is she? 

~in no particular order~ here are the Dodie classics that make me smile

Intertwined makes me smile ~~ Sick of Losing Soulmates actually had a Vevo video released, which was a first for Dodie. The video has almost 3 million views (!!) and I really liked the fact it was about love and used two women to represent that because of ~equality woo~ - those words were actually in my notes... ~~ When makes me think a lot, and in the right situation has the ability to make me cry. Right now while I'm watching Britney Ever After is not that time ~~ Would You Be So Kind? is a bop where Dodie wears a yellow dress (it is Dodie yellow tho??) - I sing to this a lot and I'm not ashamed to say it, it's a summery tune that makes me smile and hum and gets me through those horrid essay days ~~ All Star w/ Tessa Violet is obviously from Shrek and I don't even really like Shrek but I received some good news to this song so it'll always have that memory ~~ Drive is a Oh Wonder cover which is probably quintessential Dodie because it's ~atmospheric~ and words to that effect. I just really like it ~~ City of Stars w/ Jon Cozart is obviously from La La Land and is amazingly beautiful and just reminds me of the movie and it's beautiful and it's got Jon in it (p a i n t  s u b s c r i b e) ~~ Can't Feel My Superbass w/ Andie Isalie, Orla Gartland is actually the first Dodie video I saw and came from a Lucy Moon video and I actually love it so much, it's so easy to harmonise to as well which is good for ya gal who loves to sing along ~~ Pop Party mashups with Dodie's little sister are also as good as Superbass for probably the same reasons, also seeing Hedy growing up is the cutest thing ever (omg superlatives everywhere) ~~ Somewhere In The Crowd w/ lots of people including Tessa Violet (!!) is from La La Land too and bloody hell it's emotional yet happy and it just promotes vibes you can't get when you're sat in your room watching stupid make up hauls like the other Youtube stars promote. (Zoella cough Zoella

you can watch all this dodie goodness ~here~ on her channel 
lots of love... olivia curls

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things i have read

February 16, 2017

I've been reading a lot recently, whether that be essays about feminism or journals about business strategy. It's a little crazy how much I've been reading recently actually, but with more information out there than ever before, it's nice to find things that pique my interest and make me crave and think and learn. 

Here's some of my favourite reads over the past month: 
Rupi Kaur - Milk and Honey 
Milk and Honey seems to be the unexpected hit of the year so far, with every Instagram gal seemingly owning a copy. I actually found the book on Amazon before I found the Instagram account, so didn't really mind that most of the poems were already immortalised in square format. It doesn't take long to read but it's nice to pick up and put down, and the short stanzas really hit you where it hurts - who knew I'd begin to like poetry? 

Katie's words have inspired me for years. Heck, even one of my diaries had her somewhat iconic quote scribbled in the inside cover as a reminder to always look at the world as if it was silver. I remember reading her blog and feeling a little proud for a stranger I have never known, I remember the second blog ETC and the H&M campaigns and the New York trip that turned into months and months of words and coverage. And this bad boy of a final blog post reads to me as a finishing off that was well and truly deserved, maybe Scarphelia is no more but there are intricate lessons weaved within those lil nuggets of #content and I'm glad it was around while I was growing up. 

"Forever remain curious, refuse to remain unremarkable."

I didn't really watch Skins. I'm not going to pretend I did but I've seen the first few episodes and I think this article is very interesting concerning it. I don't know, it just made me think. It talks about how television and the individuals portrayed within it can be used on social media in ways the directors and actor may not have thought possible. And I agree. As I said, I might not have watched Skins but I can use the analogy for any show I've ever been obsessed with. Coronation Street? Adult me may not want to admit it but for the kid who liked soap operas, I can see how something as small as light entertainment can filter into somebody's psych and change them. I'm going to stop talking now.

It's not a secret that I love Jennifer Lawrence, but this article really made me think about whether the personality she portrays in TV interviews is one and the same as the personality she has when away from the cameras. I've begun to write about this many times before, but I just can't seem to click publish on anything. Maybe it's meant to stay in my brain, or maybe this article describes my thoughts well enough. We’ll have to see. 

Ever since I applied to work for Disney last year, I've been keeping tabs on the Disney Belle, with its beautiful photography and occasional vlogs from the Happiest Place on Earth. And when I was offered the job at Disney, I read it even more. And more. Did I mention I'm going to work in Disney World? I'm sure I have. I'm going to work in Disney World?!? Still can't believe it OMG (!?!?) ….ANYWAY this article focuses on Annie’s first week working for the Mouse and it makes me happy just reading it. 

Very much like the Jennifer Lawrence article, I found it very interesting how many celebrities put on a show to suit their own marketing campaigns or simply to hide a part of themselves from the media. Featuring celebrities such as Amy Adams and John Legend, it's a nice yet rare insight into the true, real life of people who have had to give up their anonymity simply because of their job title. 

I've also read lots of textbooks and things off my reading lists if anybody employed by uni reads this (I’m sure they don't) 

until next time, 
olivia mae

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a review of la la land

February 06, 2017

la la land
La La Land came to me a bit out of nowhere. I remember hearing about it in about September time, and I knew it was coming out in a matter of weeks. Or so I thought. Turns out it was on very limited release across the globe, and it would be months before it came to England. I sulked. 

It had a wide UK release on the 12th of January, and I was more ready than I have been for any film since The Hunger Games was cool. And then life got busy. That's a bit of a pattern in my life.

It was the 24th of January before I finally saw La La Land in the middle of two incredibly boring lectures about strategy and Subway sandwiches.

And here's what I thought of it:

It's not often I find a film so utterly perfect, so utterly real and true that the hairs on my arms stand to attention and crave to be noticed. It's not often disobedient tears threaten to leave my eyes at something that's not even sad, at something that's not ridiculously happy either. I like jazz, I do... but that's not why I loved La La Land.

There's something about the filmography, the lights and the fact the signature dress was yellow that made my heart tingle and my chubby cheeks smile. The opening number, the initial apprehension, the awful attitude of Seb in some of his first scenes... they all failed in making me dislike the character for a single second of film. I think it's because it felt real. It was real.

Those emotions don't come out of you if it's not real, if the producers and the directors and the actors and everyone involved haven't felt like that before. It just doesn't happen. It can't happen.

I don't even want to be an actress. Or a singer or anything to do with performance art. But for any young girl growing up with big dreams, I think La La Land will strike a chord. 

The fact Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling can hold a tune but don't hold a candle to Adele; the riveting backstories that just need to be explored, the frequent and telling nods to an America from yesteryear...  

I bloody adore it. I do.

If Joy is one side of me, La La Land is the other. I might have zero theatre talent, I might sing like a cat who's on the verge of death, but I like Mia and I think I see parts of myself in her. 

Maybe it's because she wears yellow. I love yellow.

Or maybe it's because the whole film can be encompassed in the opening number, Another Day of Sun. Because that's what we all want, right?

~sunshine and smiles and happiness~
and everything in between. 

And no matter what happens in the middle - even if Seb acts like a total douche when he meets Mia for the first/second/sort of third time, the ending is good. 

Even if it's a surprise from the beginning. 

And I think that's why I love La La Land. 

~you can catch la la land in cinemas now across the world~

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what i've loved, what i've done

January 17, 2017

I've been trying to write a blog post for here for a few weeks now, but a mental mind block is preventing me. Why? Maybe it's because I'm feeling like the beginnings of ~this~ blog post again, or maybe it's because I'm writing in other places. Like my journal, or for the National Student (my author page is ~here~).

If you've met me in real life recently, you'll have realised that a few rather HUGE things have occurred. One being that I've been offered my dream internship. Another being that I'm so miraculously HAPPY pretty much every day and just the sheer feeling of happiness is something to, well, get happy about. 

Life's changed a lot since I wrote regularly on this thing. I've made new friends, lost old ones, ate lots of pizza (that hasn't changed) and wrote in lots of places. The Guardian being one of them (!).

Probably the weirdest thing that happened was finding a dress taller than me in H&M. I have photographic evidence where I'm wearing heels in the picture and I'm still tiny. I'm not as short as you think I am (I have to go on my tiptoes to reach things EVERYWHERE).

But yeah, this internship. I'll mention it once and never again. Promise.
There, I'll stop going on about it. Blog knows now. ~end~

I've also loved a lot of things - lots of songs, rhythmic pieces to study and lose your head to, atmospheric beats to lull you to sleep. And podcasts. Many, many podcasts. Emma Gannon has a lot to answer for.

Here's a few things I've been lovin, that you might love too: 
(categorised for your viewing pleasure)

scouting for girls greatest hits ~ anything dodie related ~ heathers the musical ~ ctrl alt delete podcast ~ banging book club podcast ~ little mix, glory days

milk and honey, rupi kaur ~ the five gals in my article ~here~ the new little mix book (how SAD) ~ lots and lots on the national student 

the ohh deer daily journals ~ an ipad!?! ~ my brain ~ notebooks and shiz ~ lots of WINE GLASSES

And that's what happened on Glee in my life.
See u soon xxxxx
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